Nostalgia
by Cassius
Summary: [ Yaoi : KainCecil ] Kain reflects on the love he and Cecil shared after he loses him to Rosa.


So, this was it, eh, Cecil?

That same sentence repeated itself in Kain's mind, haunting him like a bad dream. After all, that's what it was, right? A bad dream. More or less, this was merely wishful thinking on his part. If he could gather everything that has happened over the past month or so and pop it like a balloon, he would very much do so. Before Golbez, before his wavering between the thin line that seperated Good and Evil, and before...

_she_ became important.

Kain knew it was generally frowned upon to think badly of such a 'pure soul' such as Rosa, but now... all romantic feelings he felt for her had diminished. Not only had she been secretly dating his supposed-lover Cecil, but she also had the nerve to treat Kain as if everything was going to be all right. Ha! How oblivious she was. You ruined me, Rosa. More importantly, however, you ruined US.

Oh, geez. You're pathetic, Kain. Get a grip on yourself. He obviously loves her more. After all, she's as pure as snow, correct? She's a blonde bombshell, right? That's all he cares about, obviously. Cecil doesn't care that he just tore out my heart and pounded it on the ground for his own personal satisfaction. Sure, Rosa was beautiful, but... what about all the things we had before? When we were training to become loyal servants of Baron's military? I guess that's all null and void now.

The blonde heaved a heavy sigh. Standing at the foot of Mount Ordeals, he glanced up at the tip of the icy colossus, his head cocking so far back that he nearly stumbled over. His drachen helmet was held with his left hand, his golden locks tied into a loose ponytail. In his right hand was his spear, which he suddenly had the urge to abandon within the wilderness. After all, what use did he have in fighting anymore? He lost everything he had to fight for. It was a real shame.

"I guess it's best if I just sit down and try to work things out," Kain thought aloud to himself, playing with a meandering strand of bisque that fell on the bridge of his slope nose. He took up this cognition and went astray into a grove of trees before (after a few hours of wandering) finding an uninhibited field of tall, yellow grass. It seemed like a place where thinking was a good task to take up.

Laying down in the grass, he gazed up at the azure sky. Before plucking a stick of rye from the ground and placing the bottom portion in his mouth's corner, he closed his eyes. Slowly, all of the things that have been troubling him melted away, like the wax of a lit candle. Finally, he felt the most peace since this whole ordeal had begun, and he began to think about the relationship him and Cecil shared so long ago...

"Hey Kain, wait up for me!"

A lithe, rather short, young-looking and fresh-faced 18-year-old boy with light-lavender hair that came down to right above his shoulders huffed and puffed as he hauled his way up a steep hill. His cheeks were flushed with coral and, judging by his rapid breaths and heavy armor, didn't have a lot of stamina despite his age.

"Hurry up, slowpoke! How do you expect to do battle when you run out of air going up a little hill?" This voice came from the top of the hill. Seeming as also around the age of 18, he had blonde hair that went just a little beyond his shoulderblades, as well as having an athletic physique.

Indeed, both of these teenagers were Cecil and Kain. Both of them looked not much different than what they had looked after Golbez was destroyed 3 years later, but their attitudes were in obvious contrast. Cecil had a very feminine look about him, and some of the other Dark Knight trainees teased him about this matter. However, Kain wasn't much better... but he always stood up when his best friend was confronted. And since it was well-known in the academy that he was one of the best Dragoons to ever train there, they decided against poking fun at Cecil again.

And, as every typical teenager usually was, they were sexually curious. At the time, Kain was deeply attracted to the White Mage trainee (and him and Cecil's friend) Rosa Farrell. She had perfectly curled blonde hair that was neatly tied up into a pink bow, her beautiful eyes large and doe-like. She was very small and innocent, as well as kind and forgiving. However, she seemed much more attached to Cecil than him. Whenever they had any sort of class together, Cecil and Rosa would pair up as a team, while Kain was left to work with a fellow Dragoon, Kaij (who was a bulky, clumsy boy that somehow destroyed everything he touched). At lunch, instead of spending the time training with Kain, he went to eat with Rosa under the maple tree near the grounds. Indeed, Kain was jealous of all this, but there was nothing he could do about it. He always meant to ask his friend if he had any romantic interest in the girl, but he just couldn't find a fit opportunity to do so. Besides, he heard from other trainees that they were "experimenting" their feelings with other males, just to see what it was like. Even that dolt Kaij got some action, and even reccomended that Kain tried it ("Man, you have no idea how arousing it is to taste another guy's... you know..."), but he never had the gall to take it up. At least... well... maybe now was a good time, considering that his chances with Rosa romantically were dwindling with each day.

But, who would he do it with?

Kain had spent countless hours contemplating who he should ask to... ahem... "experiment" with. Kaij was obviously interested in the field, but he wasn't very attracted to him. Flaith, a short and black-haired Monk apprentice, was very attractive to him. Short hair, green eyes, perfect cheeks and a boyish grin... but he had only ever spoken to him once or twice, and it would be very awkward if he went up to him one day and asked, "Care for a fuck?" So, he was obviously out the question.

The only prime candidate he could think of was his best friend Cecil. But, would he understand his disposition? Would he think he was weird for wanting to do such things with another guy? "Well, I never know if I don't ask," he thought off-handedly... well, I guess there's no time like the present.

Cecil managed to reach the top, flopping on the ground and rolling onto his back. The taller Dragoon peeped down to him from his higher standing position, his arms crossed. Before saying anything, he examined how... attractive his partner looked. Puffy cheeks flushed only a slight tint of pink, arched brows furrowed, drips of sweat cascading down the frame, heavy panting... it was strangely erotic. Before this, Kain had only imagined Rosa in such a position beneath him, but now his mind was flooded with Cecil in the same way. He began to feel nervous, sitting down on the ground next to Cecil before laying down on his back, similar to how the Dark Knight was resting.

"Hey, Cecil." It was a rather blunt statement, but it was the only thing he could think of to get the opposition's attention.

"Yes, Kain?" Cecil tilted his head to gaze at him. Kain felt even more nervous that he was looking at him directly in the eyes.

"I... er..." Well, here goes. "Have you ever thought about having sex with a guy?"

The smaller boy stared at him, perplexed. After a moment of silence, he nodded ever-so-slightly. "Yes, I have."

"Oh, I see," Kain chided before bumbling, "Uhm... I have too, actually. And I-I was thinking... maybe, if you wanted to... we could... uhm... try... 'experimenting'... y'know?"

Cecil gave his partner a coy smile, like a fox snickering cockishly. "You don't have to be so nervous about it, it's no big deal, I hear... everyone else seems to be doing it. Some end up liking it and stick to it... some even totally lose interest in girls totally and get heart-bound to a male." Kain remembered hearing the old ritual of heart-bounding; very similar to marriage, but it could be either with different genders or same genders, and it wasn't as strict as the ties of marriage. He nodded as if it were a sign for Cecil to continue, "But, some hate it after their first go, and even try to get the King or someone of high political standing to execute their partner because they were 'raped', when they weren't. And, you know, the King doesn't feel too highly of homosexuality, so he doesn't hesitate to chop their heads off. But, I can guarantee you that won't happen with us." He gave Kain a reassuring wink. "I think I find guys and girls attractive... but I really like girls. Especially Rosa... but I find some men attractive."

Kain forgot about his 'ideal oppurtnity' to ask Cecil about his feelings for Rosa, and asked something else. "Do... do you find me attractive?"

Cecil rolled onto his side, so his whole body faced the Dragoon. "Yeah, I do. I think you're the most attractive guy I know. And..."

The other male, for a second, wondered why Cecil had stopped in the middle of his sentence. The Dark Knight, still clad in his heavy training armor (minus the helmet), leaned over Kain's face and placed his peach-hued lips on the other's, suckling on the soft flesh of his lower lip. All of this had happened in perhaps a fraction of a second, and (needless to say) Kain's eyes grew wide in surprise. Cecil slowly raised his head and examined him for a moment, trying to decipher his blank expression. "Was that okay?"

The blonde took no time to respond as he lightly grabbed Cecil's thick locks of hair and pulled him into another kiss, this time much deeper. Now that he had Kain's engine going, Cecil was totally submissed, his small lips being consumed by the lustful hunger of the more physically-built boy that now crouched above him. Both of his hands were on opposite sides of the Knight's head, his palms digging into the grass. The twilight hours of night were already setting in when they stopped to rest, so there was nobody outside except them and a few patrolmen that were asleep on the job.

"Mm..." Cecil let out a moan inside Kain's mouth, momentarily followed by a tongue prodding at his front teeth, asking for entrance. In response, he opened his mouth and their tongues met, relishing each other. Cecil's tasted like lemon (before they stopped for a break he took some lemon leaves off a nearby bush and chewed on them), while Kain's was the essence of strawberries (Kain snuck some of the fruit into his armor before heading out and snacked on them as he exercised). After a minute of exploring each other with their lips and tongues, the kiss parted.

"Err..." Kain fidgeted nervously, "Do you want to go the whole way? I mean, we're kind of out in the--"

Cecil interrupted him by locking lips again, this time for only a moment. It was his turn to speak. "I think here is perfect. You look so nice with the moon shining on your face, and there's nobody out here, anyways." Kain nodded in agreement, and leaned down again, but this time not to kiss. Instead, he flicked his tongue lightly off of Cecil's earlobe, proceeding to lightly nibble on it. His incisors trailed down his jawline and the nape of his neck to... the collar of his body armor. Kain huffed in annoyance before sitting in an upright position, nimble fingers untying the string of braided leather that kept his breast-plate in place. Not bothering with the other side, he flipped the armor over to Cecil's other side, sliding it off of his back.

Cecil's body was lean yet potent, golden from the natural tan he possesed. His stormy eyes almost seemed glazed from the treatment Kain's lips had just recent given him, almost as if he were on a high. The Dragoon made a trail of butterfly kisses down the rim of Cecil's collarbone to his left nipple, which was quite hard at this point. He lightly lapped the sensitive area of skin with his tongue, as if he was testing its taste. Finding it satisfactory, he took a moment to suckle on it, his lips cupping around the peach-hued dermis and tongue flicking it about in his mouth. Cecil felt a shudder rupture his body, a moan flowing from his lips that mirrored both irresistable pleasure and longing for more. Kain removed his lips from the nipple to continue his journey down to the lower portion of his body, running the tip of tongue from its previous location to... the rim of Cecil's armored trousers. Another frustrated sigh escaped Kain as he began to undo the tightly-sewn braid at Cecil's crotch, nearly ripping the material apart as he hastily did away with it.

The Knight, obviously, was erect and aching to be touched and explored, much in the same way his other companions had said in their own stories. With that, Kain delivered its desire, his fingers lightly trailing over the head of the member. Cecil gave in a large suck of air through his teeth, fluttering his long lashes before shutting his eyes. His index finger pressed a trail from the underside of the tip down to the fleshy base, his other fingers feeling the grizzly touch of the pubic hairs that surrounded the area. Cecil could feel his heart pounding, as if it were demanding to be released from the imprisonment of the ribcage. All past worries of performing homosexual acts had disappeared, and all he wanted right now was to climax at the hand of his beloved friend.

His cloudy daze was interrupted as he heard the voice of Kain. "Spread your legs a little."

Cecil did as he was commanded, now feeling a bit exposed. The other boy undid the front part of his leggings, his own stout member unsheathed. Once again putting his fingers on Cecil's shaft, he leaned over to speak into his ear, "This is going to hurt, but I promise by the end it will be pure ecstacy." Well, that's at least what Kaij told him...

Kain bit his lower lip as he, very slowly, pushes his head into Cecil's anus, the tight entrance making it a challenge to shove it all in. It was warm, but not as damp as he expected, and it was VERY tight-- much more so than he had originally judged. In order to substitute pain for pleasure, he continued pumping Cecil's shaft with his hand, now using his entire palm and accelerating his speed. Groans of pain from his companion beneath him and tears welling in his eyes made him feel pity for Cecil, but he knew that in a moment or so it would transform into cries of pleasure and tears of happiness-- and he was right.

"K-Kain!" The tone, this time, was not a light whimper of discomfort. It was tinged with satisfaction, savoring the movement of the blonde's hip movements. Slowly, he thrusted in and out of the crevice, savoring the tight warmth it gave him. His pace picked up momentarily, his hand delicately pumping the other's stiffened shaft. Cecil jolted as his body arched toward the nimble fingers of his friend, his mouth gaping open with cries and moans. Kain leaned over and paused his thrusting to gingerly kiss his lower lip, the taste tanged by the salty zest of sweat. The Dragoon's free hand trailed up to Cecil's nipple, where he slowly caressed it with his (still-gloved) thumb. The panting became heavier, and the speed was faster; the dominant one was now clenching the penis of the Knight instead of lightly grazing it, running palm from tip-to-bottom in rapid motion. The submissive one was not without work, however. Cecil's calloused fingers were entagled in Kain's golden mop of hair while he craned his head up periodically to nibble on his lips, jawline, earlobe, neck, and any other exposed areas that he wanted to taste. He could feel his legs (which were dangling in the air) twitch every now and then, overrun with the wonderful feeling of his only sacred area being filled with the passion (and manhood) of the one he had spent so many years with. He was filled with lust, both physically and mentally.

The air around them was lewd with sex and concupiscence, although it was a beautiful fragrance. Their moans and cries of delectation formed a sacred hymn bound by the notes of love and the chords of passion. Two entagled bodies, slicked by their own (and each other's) perspiration, releasing ages of wanton frustrations and desires. The dismissed figure was the first to reach his crest, the hot, ivory liquid spilling out on his stomach, convulsing with desire beneath his partner and screaming with heat and pleasure. Shortly after came his partner, his climax exploding inside the other. A second of rest followed, both of them panting heavily and opening lidded eyes, glistening with fulfilled hopes and desires.

The Dragoon rolled off of Cecil, now noticing the cool air of night. He still continued to face his partner, who was struggling to catch his breath. When he had finally managed to do so, Cecil gave his partner one last kiss, albeit short and bittersweet. They both cuddled, safe within their tender arms.

"So..." Kain sighed, his lips curled into a small smile, "Did you enjoy it?"

"Quite," Cecil laughed, resting his head on the nape of his bedfellow's neck.

"Let's lay here for a few more minutes, just to stare up at the stars."

"Sounds good."

And so they did, gazing up at the twinkling specks that decorated a drearily-black canvas. Maybe, just maybe, both of them had created a star of their own, a burning light in the sky that would forever signify their love. At least, that's what they thought. And, although this scene would be repeated many times in the confines of their dorms and town inns, nothing would rival the extreme lust unleashed the night that they had done it for the first time.

Kain heaved a sigh as he wiped stray beads of sweat off of his brow, retreating his hand from his trousers. His fingers were sticky from his own cum, his breath heavy from his own pleasures. It had been so long that he felt sexual completeness; he hardly ever masturbated, and completely stopped after he and Cecil no longer slept together. But... reliving that old scene, the best night of his life... even if it was merely in his mind, it was wonderful to feel alive again. At least, partly alive...

He rose up from his laying position, wiping his hand off on his armored knee. Taking his weapon in his other hand, he speared the ground, the blunt end sticking out of the ground vertically.

"I hate to leave you, old friend... but I'm afraid I can't continue life with you. It will just serve as a constant reminder..." He didn't finish his sentence as he kissed the lance, as if saying farewell to an old love. He also unequipped all of his armor, including his trademark helmet, and placed them on the ground near the spear. Kain didn't even look back as he continued into the distance, following the setting sun into a direction unknown to him.

Maybe... this was the way it was meant to be.

Fin.


End file.
